Saturday, December 13, 2008

Christmas Party at the ARK

Let me go Rex. I'm busting out of here.
Oh no you don't Riley. Mom wants a picture! Don't make me use the choke hold that Hunter taught me :-)

I think these pictures tell the story. The big boys had a great time running around and playing the carnival games. Rex and Hunter usually have a fun time together. Rex always manage to teach Hunter some lovely bigger boy icky trick. I think he kept it to showing him how he carries Riley around for us. Well Riley is a couple pounds lighter than Ella and Rex is almost two years older than Hunter. I'm sure Kacey will have fun dealing with that. Riley was toddeling around like he owned the joint. I'm glad it was a fairly small area that I had to chase him around in. Some day he will listen to me right? I am glad that the kids had a good time. If I'm being honest I don't enjoy these things. I joke about not playing well with others and it sure shows at times like this. I see the families with older kids and I feel a bit like I must look like a deer in the headlights. I hate thinking about what life might have in store for Riley and then it makes me feel very judgmental and yucky about myself. I have made friends with very few of the families that we have met in real life and not through blogs. I'm thankful that I have made friends with Kacey (Ella Grace with the Pretty Face) and Rebbecca. I tend to run the other way from people that want to tell me how lucky they are because God gave them this gift and their child with special needs is the best thing that EVER happened to their family. Don't get me wrong, God did give me an amazing gift when Riley joined our family, but his big brother Rex is also a gift from God. I don't understand when people say one child is a bigger gift than another. There is also the EWW factor and any big gathering. This more where I feel judgemental. I don't feel all warm and fuzzy about the messy kids and or dirty smelly kids- I always feel bad that the parents don't take more care with them - but I don't gush over them. I know that Riley will always have physical features that will identify him as having Down syndrome but I really hope that he aways is clean (besides the drool that is always stuck to his shirt) I sure don't have a strong desire to make friends. Sometimes I feel like I'm expected to have this bond with all families that have kiddos with special needs, and I don't. I'm want friends that have things in common with me above and beyond a child with special needs. Well enough babbling about the Christmas party that Kacey talked me into going to that has reminded me socially inept I can be.

5 comments:

  1. I don't think you need to enjoy all of these folks any more than all the parents of Rex's friends at school or soccer etc. Besides, you have the genes of two less than warm and fuzzy parents. gramma

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  2. Ha ha, I like your mom's comment : ) You know I am so with you on this one, though I think I play better with others than you, but I have to drag you along so I can have a "real" parent with me. I think we are real because we don't gush about the little ones being the best thing on Earth, we still love the big ones just as much. I think all those that put on the show of being happy all the time are really just trying to hide the pain. Anyhoo, better get ready since I'm meeting you in an hour for pics of the little lovebirds : ) Besides if you didn't go places with me how can I talk about people with you if you don't see them yourself????

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  3. You crack me up!! I love your honesty. So true, so true....

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  4. You always say it perfectly blunt. I appreciate that. I am glad you had fun at the party - so sad we couldn't make it (you know I am laughing at that bold lie).

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  5. Your honesty is good. I always tell myself "one day at a time". I try not to look too much at what Tommy's older years will be like. But then, I don't look at older years for my other three kids either. God continues to place events and folks in my life to keep my eyes firmly on today. Whenever I start to wander to older years he gives me a swift reminder that my focus is only on today. Be well. Love your blog!

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