Work in Progress!

I have officially had my CPAP machine for just over a week and I think last night might have finally been a successful nights sleep.   Justin laughed that I was in the exact same position when he left for work this morning as when I went to bed last night.  I'm never that still during the night so I'd say that was a huge success.  Each day has gotten easier to sleep with in the wind tunnel.  My REM meter plus only tried to drown me once and thankfully no repeat performances yet.  Last night I even was even able to sleep past 5 with my machine on.     My sleep study results were super interesting and showed that I actually spent very little time in REM sleep.  I think I'm finally sleeping well enough to move through all the levels of sleep because I woke up in the middle of the night from a crazy dream and ripped off my mask.  Good times!  I knew this wasn't going to be a success over night and I keep reminding myself of that by I'd really go for two nights sleep in a row.

I had a followup visit with the nutritionist  today.  I wasn't looking forward to this visit since I had enjoyed my birthday cupcakes, wine and so on but over all it was a good visit.  2 pounds down and considering how much I enjoyed my birthday treats I think that is a huge success. That's a total of 13.2 pounds on the nutritionists fancy dancy body scanner.  The best part was the progress I could see in the change from fat mass to muscle mass.  I've lost 20pounds of fat mass since Jan 27 and my BMI is down 2% as well.  I'm finding motivation in the fact that my pants are fitting better. 

I think I"m on the right track with improving my nutrition, exercise habits and sleep patterns.  I will admit that I'm totally impatient and I want all of it to be perfectly aligned and working ummmmmmm  yesterday!  Patience is not a virtue that comes easily to me.  Thats a work in progress too!

Kicking off 35!

Yesterday was my 35th birthday and I enjoyed the heck out of it and plan to keep enjoying it clear thru the weekend and possible thru next weekend.  One just never knows how long this celebration will last.  I had lots of loves and hugs from my boys and if you've ever heard Riley say Happy Birthday you'll understand why it makes my heart smile too.  He loves birthdays and I'm pretty sure its because of the cake.  Can't blame him on that one.  Justin brought home red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and WOW they were yummy.  I didn't do so well with eating healthy yesterday but it was delicious and I don't feel one ounce of guilt.  Birthdays only come once a year and they need to be celebrated.  Our amazing babysitter helped Riley make me a card.  They used Riley's hand prints as the blooms on a field of flowers.  It was super cute waiting for me when i got home from work.  Riley and I have been arguing about the balloon today.  He is pretty sure it is his and doesn't believe me when I tell him its mine.  NO MOM Riley's BALLOON he tells me.  When I remind him he gave it to me for my birthday he looks at me and says NO Riley's. 

I remember back to high school when I was in the Miss Reardan pageant.  Insert giggle now.  I was the 2nd Princess in the Miss Reardan contest.  I'll dig out a picture of that sometime but really what I was thinking about was the interview portion of the evening when they asked me what I thought my life would be like in 10 or 15 years.  I don't remember my answer exactly but it was pretty generic about going to college and having a family and being an active member of my community.  (no world peace answers for me) While I've checked those items off my to do list life has become so much more.  I don't think I could have possibly ever imagined what my life truly would be and while it isn't glamorous I love it!

I certainly wouldn't have imagined picking up my very own CPAP machine the night before my 35th birthday.  I'm not completely sure I can imagine it now and I've done it.  Over the past month I've completed a sleep study and learned that I have fairly severe sleep apnea.  I guess I have to stop blaming the boys for me being exhausted all the time.  I am trying to get used to sleeping with what feels like a wind storm blowing up my nose.  The first day I woke up feeling like my nostrils were permanently flared.  I spent most of the day rubbing my nose and feeling a bit like a character in a movie that had just done a line of coke in the bathroom.   Last night I switched out the nose piece for the smaller pillows (I love that they call what I wear nasal pillows)  turned up the humidifier and things went a bit better.  Well until about 5am when I woke up with water in my nose.  I'm pretty sure my REM star Plus was trying to drown me in my sleep.  I'm hoping night three is the charm.  I could use a good nights sleep. 

35 is off to a good start and I plan to make it a good one.

Rainbows

I don't know about the rest of you but I needed a rainbow today.  It was another crazy day watching my friend's worlds spin out of control.  There is so much I simply can't control.  So, I need to focus on the things I can control.  Thank you to Amy for the reminder that I needed to update to a bit more positive of a post.  So with that little reminder  I needed to find the positive in the world around me.  

One really bright ray of sunshine in my world is Riley.  He truly is amazing.  After being sick it took him a bit to get back to his sassy little self but last week he was  BACK.  He had a great week at school and the twinkle in his eye was back.  Our fabulous babysitter Kristi took a few pictures of him working on his project at school.  I think you'll agree that he is budding artist.  I love the look of concentration on his face as he paints his rainbow.  PRICELESS!!!

Ramblings and randomess

My mother in law called this evening I think with the sole purpose of reminding me that it has been a full month since my last post.  She may be my sole remaining reader... I wouldn't know that since she never leaves a comment. In an effort to keep my family happy here is what Hurricane Riley and clan have been up to over the last month. 

I think I'll start with the infamous Hurricane Riley himself.  Riley has been battling a sinus thing for a while.  At the ten day marker of the second round of antibiotics he popped up with a fever and slipped in to neutral.  A couple trips to the Dr and a chest xray later we discovered he had pneumonia.  Apparently they are seeing lots of pneumonia this year that they can't actually hear at the clinic.  The kids present with the symptoms but the Dr can't hear the rattle though it is obvious on the xray.  Thankfully my pediatrician sent us for an xray and we started the right meds that same day.  Riley has been busy in school.  He is learning all his letters and sounds.  His teacher conference was super positive and his special education teacher says he is showing tons of kindergarten skills. 

Rex has been busy busy with school, Cub scouts, indoor soccer, basketball, preparing for his first communion and confirmation, and finding time to just be a boy and play.  He appears to love it all and we are getting ready to sign up for spring baseball which will be a new adventure in busy.  In the past we have played summer baseball so it didn't overlap with soccer but this year he decided that he wants to play with his friends at school.  He will be playing real Little League as long as I don't mess up and not get him registered on time or something.  I'm not sure how we will balance two sports with practise but it will be fun to watch him with his buddies so its worth it....right???  Rex is doing really well at school.  Teacher conferences this Friday so I'll get the scoop then but other than needing more class participation I don't think the teacher has any complaints. 

I have been a medical mess it feels.  Nothing truly serious just a lot of little dents and dings.  I'm having success with my life style eating changes.  I'm down 15 pounds with out much effort.  I have been feeling better than I have in a long time.  I assume that means I have stabilized my blood sugar but will find out for sure in April when I go back to the Dr for more blood work.

In addition to the PCOS I have discovered that I have sleep apnea.  I completed a sleep study a few weeks back and go back tomorrow for the second half.  I was so ramped up about the whole event that I couldn't calm down enough to sleep and therefore didn't meet the insurance requirements to have the cpap machine set up that same night.  So tomorrow evening, for my sleeping enjoyment, I get to go back to see my buddy the sleep technician.  At this point I'd rather see my pool boy named Juan but I'll have to settle for my technician buddy.  He has all my special wires and gooey sticky "hair gel" all ready for me.  I'll even get to pick out my very own Darth Vader style mask.  I'm so excited I can hardly contain it.  Justin thinks he is ready for me to have my machine so I'll stop twitching and snorting but I'm not sure he is ready for the sexy beast I'll transform into with my fancy new headgear. 

As I sit and type this I know it sounds like such a long list of whining.  Some days its so easy to throw a giant pity party but there are so many reminders that things could be so much worse.  A good friend of mine had a scare today that her daughter might have leukemia.  Thankfully the blood work came back normal but it does slow you down a bit and put things in perspective.  A dear friend of my is awaiting test results that really at this point I'm hoping what ever she has just isn't life threatening.  Seriously is that the best prayer I can come up with?  My uncle is fighting for his life and losing to cancer. I am very thankful that he has an amazing faith and I know he and the family will find comfort in prayer.  It is so very difficult to see your family and friends struggle at every turn.  Some days it simply feels like too much.  I know in my heart that God truly does have a plan for each of us and we must trust him to show us the way, but it is still so hard.  So over the last month that I've been living my life I have been trying to remind myself that I have a beautifully wonderful life and family and friends that I need to thank God for every single day. 



As your reward for making it through that long winded ramble here is a family photo from the fall of 2007.  Riley is not quite 1 year old and Rex had just turned 5.

It has been a little over a week since I shared my story of PCOS and asked you all to hold me accountable for getting my act together.  I have to say I am 100% touched by all of you,  my most amazing friends.  I had several people I haven't heard from in a while send notes of encouragement and love.  It is truly inspiring to know that so many of you are currently or have been in similar situations and have won.

It has been a busy busy week but a good one.  I've been learning tons and was even able to see the nutritionist that my Dr referred me too.  She is actually the co author of a book call the Insulin-Resistance-Diet.  

Mary Kay was able to explain the entire insulin resistance issue to me far better than anyone else that has tried.  It totally makes sense to me now and explains so much of how I was feeling before.  The main concept of this diet is not eat more than two servings of carbs (not more than every two hours) and always pair carbs with lean proteins.  It has been surprisingly easy to adapt this type of eating and I have not had the crazy cravings that I have always had before.  I even get to keep my latte as long as I have sugar free flavor and skim milk which isn't as bad as I feared it might be.  The first few days I did great with drinking lots of water and I can tell fitting it all in is getting harder each day.  Any great advise on how to make that habit stick would be great.  I try to keep a bottle with me or a glass on my desk but I noticed today it say there longer and longer.  Why do you supposed even though my brain knows it should drink more water I didn't do it?  Oh well baby steps right.  I will get there!  I'm working to get more exercise.  I've done great walking on the weekends but adding something on the week nights is hard.  I'm less than motivated and super tired. I have some great excuses including a hip that is driving me crazy.  I've been seeing a chiropractor and a massage therapist for a while now but it is still aggravating me. I've scheduled my first visit with the acupuncturist and am completely excited about it.  I have quite the list of things I'd like magically cured by those needles but I'd settle for some pain relief. 

I go back to the nutritionist in a couple weeks and will weigh in then.  I need to invest in a good reliable scale so I can monitor better at home.  I weigh in at work but that is a scale that I don't trust much.  It tells me I've lost about 9 pounds and while I enjoy that number I think I'll wait until I get the official weigh in to get too excited. 

Thank you for coming on this journey with me.  I can't explain how much all of the encouragement means to me.  Keep it coming!

Three Cheers!!!

If you have stopped by Ella Grace with the Pretty Face lately you've already seen these but they are cute enough to share twice.  You can thank Kacey for the great pictures.

Kacey asked if we wanted to join them for an afternoon of bowling I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  I pictured a lot of chasing Riley around the bowling alley and having to hold him to make sure he wasn't running off.  I never expected that bowling would capture his attention for entire game.  He loved every second of it and so did the rest of us. 

We arrived a bit early and so we did have to wrangle the kids for a while why we waited for the league bowlers to finish up.   They stopped for a moment for Kacey to capture this cute shot.

Cheese Balls!

Big cheers!  Don't you wish you could pull off a tutu like Ella?

Big Smiles

Riley was so excited every time he rolled the ball.  So much fun!

The big boys had fun too!

We had so much fun bowling that we decided to try it again.  We went with my parents to the little bowling alley in Davenport.  It has 9 lanes and my dad had to keep score for us by hand.  Riley has been fighting a sinus infection so he wasn't at the top of his game but he still had fun. 

Such big numbers we were rolling it took a lot of concentration at the score table!



I'm sure I was getting some advise from my dad in the picture... either that or he was telling us about the night he bowled 273. 




The balls all had names etched in them.  Rex was looking for Kenny.




A lil help from Bubba



Notice how shiny Riley's shoes are.  Well the family that recently bought the little bowling alley has been gradually remodeling and cleaning things up.  Riley's feet are so little he still needs his inserts to keep the size 8s to fit.  When we got there the smallest size they had was a child 11.  Needless to say that Riley was walking out of his shoes. The little girl at the counter was adamant that he had to have bowling shoes on and we couldn't use he street shoes unless we asked the owner.  We tried it in the big shoes but it wasn't so good.  When I went back up the counter to see if his street shoes would work the owner and his wife were there and his wife had just returned from the supply store and had a box full of children's sizes. So Riley down sized to an 8 and he was ready to bowl.  Since Riley was the 1st person to wear these shoes Sam, the owner, wrote his name on them so Riley will be forever part of the Davenport bowling alley. 

It was another super fun bowling outing.  Definitely something fun the entire family enjoys! 

 

The Evil Inside Me

I've had a busy busy week both mentally and physically. I finally got my act together and went back to the Dr for my follow up that was I supposed to do a couple of months ago. I could blame things like a busy schedule and the crazy fall my family experienced but really it boils down to the fact that I was avoiding the appointment. I knew I had to have blood work and I knew that the results were going to be the same as before and I knew that the Dr would have a lot to tell me.

 

Well I was right. The Dr informed me that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome or PCOS. I have Googled and read a lot of information and this clip from WEB MB is a good overview.

 

What is polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)?

Polycystic ovary syndrome (say "pah-lee-SIS-tik OH-vuh-ree SIN-drohm") is a problem in which a woman’s hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. PCOS may also cause unwanted changes in the way you look. If it is not treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease.

  

Polycystic ovary syndrome (or PCOS) is common, affecting as many as 1 out of 15 women. Often the symptoms begin in the teen years. Treatment can help control the symptoms and prevent long-term problems.

What are hormones, and what happens in PCOS?

Hormones are chemical messengers that trigger many different processes, including growth and energy production. Often, the job of one hormone is to signal the release of another hormone.

For reasons that are not well understood, in PCOS the hormones get out of balance. One hormone change triggers another, which changes another. For example:

 

The sex hormones get out of balance. Normally, the ovaries make a tiny amount of male sex hormones (androgens). In PCOS, they start making slightly more androgens. This may cause you to stop ovulating, get acne, and grow extra facial and body hair.

 

The body may have a problem using insulin, called insulin resistance. When the body doesn't use insulin well, blood sugar levels go up. Over time, this increases your chance of getting diabetes.

 

What are the symptoms
Symptoms tend to be mild at first. You may have only a few symptoms or a lot of them. The most common symptoms are:

• Acne.
• Weight gain and trouble losing weight.
• Extra hair on the face and body. Often women get thicker and darker facial hair and more hair on the chest, belly, and back.
• Thinning hair on the scalp.
• Irregular periods. Often women with PCOS have fewer than nine periods a year. Some women have no periods. Others have very heavy bleeding.
• Fertility problems. Many women who have PCOS have trouble getting pregnant (infertility).
• Depression.
• Most women with PCOS grow many small cysts on their ovaries. That is why it is called poly cystic ovary syndrome. The cysts are not harmful but lead to hormone imbalance

What causes PCOS?

The symptoms of PCOS are caused by changes in hormone levels. There may be one or more causes for the hormone level changes.

 

PCOS seems to run in families, so your chance of having it is higher if other women in your family have PCOS, irregular periods, or diabetes. PCOS can be passed down from either your mother's or father's side.

 

You can read the full article here:

 

Sounds fun doesn't it. It does make me feel better that the symptoms that I do have, and thankfully I don't have that entire list, aren't just in my head. In additional to the list there are several other issues that can come along with PCOS. From what I'm understanding the biggest issues seem to all be triggered by the insulin resistance. It seems to be the root of all this evil that is going on inside my body.

 

So now that I know what the issue is I'm attempting to change my ways and not allow it to rule my world. In my typical style I've researched and headed to the book store. I've got my highlighter on standby but so far I've resisted. I've plowed through the book on PCOS and I'm sure I'll be rereading and highlighting the parts I need to remember. I think its a good sign that I'm ready to figure all of this out. I hope that I have some success with the weight loss because long term motivation is hard if there are no results. One of the nice parts of having the Dr involved is that I have an appointment with the nutritionist scheduled and my insurance will cover a few visits. In my research I understand that one of the best things I can do is drastically reduce carbohydrates and always pair complex carbohydrates with a lean protein. This sounds simple enough so I dove straight in. I am trying really hard to give up white sugar, white bread, white rice, potatoes, soda and all processed garbage. So I've had success since Saturday and that did include movie night at the church potluck. Let me tell you I'm pretty proud of myself for resisting the huge tub of red licorice and gummy bears and the rest of the sweets at the end of the buffet line. I've been reading a lot about the Eat Clean Diet with Tosca Reno. The principles are in line with the insulin resistant diet and then have a lot of extra. I can't go from eating a variety of garbage to eating totally Clean but it does give me some nice guidelines and goals. 3 liters of water a day is going to take some time before it doesn't feel like I'm trying to drown myself. I did have a latte this afternoon but other than that I haven't had any processed sugar in 3 days. That alone is pretty huge in my world.

Here is the part where all of you come in to the picture. I need all of you to help force me to stay accountable. I need you to be my willpower when I run low. I need you to ask me to go for a walk or if I've been on a walk. I promise not to be grumpy but even if I am don't give up. Don't take my list of excuses but instead remind me that I need to get healthy.

 

I'm not brave enough to post my before picture with the after to go with it but maybe in a month or two I'll be feeling brave. I have a pretty bad full body shot from the lake this summer. Let's just say that swim suits are not flattering and how someone captured me on film in one I'll never know. EEWWW is all I have to say.

 

I'll say thank you in advance for all the support and encouragement. Your friendship means the world to me!