Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Random Thoughts for a Tuesday

Well I've been getting a lot of grief for not blogging lately so I thought I would take a stab at it tonight. I unfortunately don't have new pictures to share because I've been too busy, tired or lazy to take them.

To be completely honest I haven't been blogging much because I haven't had much nice to say. I think that I'm possibly a couple steps away from the padded room and the men with white coats.

I have had issues with depression in the past but nothing quite like this. I have changed pills, added pills, ranted and raved, slept, prayed and gone to church and cried. Seriously nothing gets rid of this icky feeling and the roller coaster of emotions that seem to jump from tears to rage in about 3 seconds flat. A friend of mine keeps encouraging me to see a professional to get my head sh rinked and the thought of adding one more appointment or medical bill to my life makes me ill.

My doctor ordered blood work to look at all of my hormones. It will be interesting to see if this is something caused by wacky hormone levels. I know that it is possible to have wacky hormones but seriously I'm only 32. Don't you need to be old or going through menopause to have hormone issues.

I knew I was bad when Justin nicely tells me that he has recorded Oprah for me. She had a whole show on hormone replacement therapy.

By blogging buddy Elasta Mom shared the quote below a while back.

We can either watch life from the sidelines, or actively participate...Either we let self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy prevent us from realizing our potential, or embrace the fact that when we turn our attention away from ourselves, our potential is limitless.

—Christopher Reeve

I feel a bit like I have taken a time out from the game. I know the plays and want to be on the court with my team but feel like I'm just going through the motions.

I came across this picture of Rex feeding Riley. I love how he looks so proud of himself, and Rex looks so little to me too. Rex is such a good big brother and loves Riley so much.


  1. Gloomy feeling days are the worst! I agree, it will be interesting to see where your hormone levels are. I have struggled with mine for years (I'm only 27 years old). It's much better now since I've been doing stuff to help it. One of the things I did that helped was use Arbonne's Natural Balancing Cream.


    I'm wishing you happy, bright sunny days.

  2. Always remember the Kibbe boys love you ;)

    Love ya!
    Your hubby

  3. Depression sucks big time, doesn't it? I have had a rough winter as well...I feel your pain. It's a good thing to get your hormone levels checked....it never hurts! I am thinking of you and sening a big virtual hug your way!!

  4. Ahh, you are me 3-6 months ago, it does suck and feels like it will never end. But it will!!! Don't forget to lean on your friends if you need anything, hint hint : ) Talk to you later today!

    Love ya!

  5. Hey Hon! I know exactly how you feel emotionally. I went through the worst case of depression in many years right after I had Hunter Bean. And I have been dealing with chronic depression since I was 16. So depression is nothing new to me. Nor are the meds. But holy crow, post partum is a kick in the !@#!@%! It's really hard to shake and I am still very depressed lately even though I have gone back to work and made some great strides to change the issues in my life that are making me feel worse. If you ever wanna talk just send me a message.. Jesstool@hotmail.com

    <3 Ssej

  6. Oh PS!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE that pic of your beautiful boys! What a great big brother! /swoon! what a proud mommy you must be of those two!

    I borrowed your Manic Monday post and put it on my blog!

    And if it lifts your spirits at all, I need you start blogging more! I love coming here and reading about your champs! perks me up! ;) Thanks for that!


  7. Just remember - you are not alone. Sounds lame but its true. Thank you for continuing to tell it like it is, even if its crappy. You are one amazing person!

  8. You know I watched a special on doctor phil a few months ago,that he was talking about a little girl whos body had too much Mercury in it and it was making her mean,I am sorry that you are going through so much, I know you don't personally know me but I am praying for you and your family. Depression is such a difficult thing it would be nice if there was some magical pill to make everything go away. Your Little ones are adorable, I have a little brother who has Downsyndrome. We have been very fortunate with him, his heart is in excellent condition. He is 26.

  9. Mary, We are having fun thinking about Cayman's 1st birthday coming up! If all goes as planned we are going to have a party for her in our new house, but it will be just a week or two past her actually birth date. We will be moving the week of her birthday. Lots to do, but it's the kind of busy that I look forward to.

    Thanks so much for asking.

  10. Hey Girl, I'm sorry life is so sucky at the moment. But I'm glad you're seeking help, that's so important. Just know that you have people in your life who care about you and are here to listen. Wishing you brighter days and a big bouquet of yellow gerber daisies!
    Much Love,

  11. I think you totally can have hormone problems at any age...worth getting them checked out. Hormones are so evil!

    I wish you a peaceful day!


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